WHAT DOES TRUE SELF-CARE LOOK LIKE?

People often mention to me that they’ve given themselves a self-care day, but when I’ve asked how they spent the day they often report getting a massage or facial  treatment and taking the day off of work.  I’m glad that they are taking care of themselves and that’s a great start.

Self-care is so critical for wellbeing that it is worth asking what does true self-care look like?  It can easily look like a spa day in the outer world, but fundamentally self-care is an inside job and it needs to occur daily. Read the following post for some recommended techniques for ongoing SELF-CARE that reflects a foundation of SELF-LOVE.

So what does Self-Care look like?

SWEET SELF-TALK- ‘You are your own beloved’

You wake up every morning and you greet yourself like you would greet your greatest lover!

I’m so happy to see you and how can I care for you today?  What is ailing you? What would make you happy? What is your heart’s truest desire?  Maintain this attitude throughout your day.  Speak and act lovingly to yourself.

EASY MEDITATION- ‘LET GO, Let “GOD”’

I call it easy meditation because it should never be a chore.  People are confused about meditation and they make it infinitely more tedious and cumbersome than need be. They force their “doer” onto the meditation cushion and battle their thoughts. They end up developing a dread of meditation.  The point is to drop your DOER and get into a state of being.  Get into meditation by completely surrendering.  Just show up and let yourself be meditated.  You don’t have to do a thing- just show up and let source/God/the universe do it for you.

CHOOSE JOY- ‘To Find Your True Yes, you need to get good at saying NO’

Every day has many choice points.  Make each one meaningful and intentional. That means you pause, get into your body and ask yourself which one of a selection of choices would feel the most “aligned”, the most joyous or delicious, the one that gives you that “click”feeling of Yes!  Start to follow the momentum of that Yes!  Get good at knowing the difference between a Yes, No or Maybe. See what happens when you start to follow YES, get more courageous and skillful at saying NO, and get more creative with those MAYBEs.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BEAUTY

When you surround yourself with beauty, you naturally get into a state of gratitude.  When you live in a place that feels aligned with your proclivities, and preferences, your soul feels nourished.  A rose would never flourish in dry, shady environment.  Understand your own body and nature to know which environments help you thrive. This includes the kind of natural landscape that you love as well as art and decor that inspire you and touch your soul.

SUPPORTIVE & INSPIRING RELATIONSHIPS

Invest in deepening relationships that feel good to you And reach out to those that nourish you when you’re engaging in self-care. That means not spending time with those that are abusive or not supportive of you.  Get creative with HOW you spend time with specific people by noticing what kinds of activities and conversations you enjoy most with each person and minimize the interactions that make you feel less connected or alienated.  If you’re confused about the quality of these relationships and fear they might be steeped in a lot of projection, reach out for help to get more clarity on which relationships are worth deepening.

STRATEGIES FOR MEETING WOUNDED PARTS

Inevitably, as you uplevel your life, the more old, wounded parts of self reveal themselves to you.  They don’t want to stay hidden in the recesses of your psyche, and now that your life is improving they’re seeing their opportunity to come out of the dark for healing.  That’s part of the game we’re all playing.  So you want to get good at meeting these old parts of self.  In fact, prepare a strategy to meet these inner children and tyrants with attention, love, understanding.  Bring them to the light of Awareness and let the healing begin.  Listen deeply to what they have to say, and on repeat, tell them: “I love you, I hear you, I understand what you’re saying, I’m sorry you went through that, I’m here for you now, you’re safe, you are good enough, I love you……”

I hope these self-care techniques resonate with your being, and that you find ease incorporating them into your routine.  Let them change you in a good way from the inside out and generate a sense of goodness and wellbeing that can radiate outwards towards the world.

Love and Best Wishes,

Anat  Trarbach, Ph.D.